are you on my side?

One berry down, who's next doesn't really matter

2009-05-09T21:50:00.004+08:00

Today, May 8, 2009, another friend of mine is engaged.
A closed one.

I put on 3-healthy-kilos and I'm gonna stop right there.
Hopefully ;p

the joy they bring

2009-05-08T10:30:00.005+08:00

For the whole week I have not been able to meet them.
Been hold on dragged discussion, lunch time pun dead and gone.

If the bf were here (as in KL) he can always drive me to Pavilion for Carls Jr.
But he's away so far away off the shore for so very long time now.
Fifa said she hold some of the burden (as in missing him on behalf of me), thanks babe.

But I don't want to dwell in my melancholic feelings anymore.

I miss him, I miss them. But hey, its long weekend, AGAIN!

it has been 4 months

2009-04-06T08:20:00.003+08:00

I know I promised a lot of stuff, but keeping promises is as hard as, uhm, tip toed out of office at 5 pm.

Sad thing, I am amongst the last one to leave, after maghrib that is.

But I'm not complaining, this is far better than the 6 months jobless state I endured.

Now I can say I earn a living. I can now spare my brothers and sister pocket money. The feeling is - priceless.

And I checked with the bf soon after he came back from 3 weeks offshore - are we on still on the same page? and he said Yes. Yeay!

Many things changed. I sing that song too many times already eh? That includes this thing that happened in Kino-

'I'm looking for Confession of-'
'Shopaholics?'

'No dear, Confession of an Economics Hit Man by John Perkins'

Hahahahaha.

Justification

2009-03-13T10:35:00.003+08:00

I have silent for many reasons. Some would be

technical - at first the modem was hit by lightning, then when it was replaced, the network card somehow not functioning. I want to upload Taman Negara pictures so bad, but office connection does not allow that.
confusion - with this new life its hard to adjust. Emotionally, physically, relationship wise, basically the whole thing. I am drained when once step foot home, I stopped the usual bloghopping. But I hope now I'm back.
Extreme laziness - don't need to defend myself here, kan?

so hello everyone,

and HELLO to YOU bila nak balik ni the loneliness is killing me!

2009-03-09T17:15:00.001+08:00

Yes I am alive, wait for updates. Hint : obscene and ugly photos in Taman Negara.

My old self is back. Yeay!

hello kemello

2009-02-06T20:50:00.002+08:00

I don't know where to start. It's like I have been walking on a thin rope all along and I'm at the middle at the moment. To recall from the beginning point would be exhausting, even in wording form.

My workplace is high above the sky. In exaggerating kind of way lah, but still. To take my skinny self there would take around 5 minutes and 2 changing lifts. But swaying myself in heels, I feel almost like a princess of the sky.

But can I say something despite all the complains?

I have my very good friends. I can see Fifa, Zu, Ealya, Fatin, and now adding to the team-Zaza. Everytime I feel things are far from expectations, I can laugh till my stomach hurts during lunch time. When I'm tired from all the confusing corporate talks, I can pick up the phone and giggle and gossip.

We communicate in every sorts of way. Emails, IM, phone, lunch dates. We just can't get enough of each other other, can we?

Anywaaay, say YEAY to long weekend!

It's 7.30 pm and I am still at the office

2009-02-04T08:46:00.001+08:00

I just felt like a loser with no life.

PIPE pictures

2009-01-19T20:39:00.007+08:00

I haven't get all the pictures, here are some taken by people with dslr.

And I won 007 bang! Dapat breakfast dengan Delta Rovers okay.

Hello and Hi

2009-01-05T23:37:00.003+08:00

I'm ok. I'm alive, breathing, and eating very well too.

PIPE was so far ok. OK lah.

Ok get back soon. Can't wait for normal access to internet. I'm using lobby's PC nak buka blog sendiri malu gila ok.

Bye bye, be good.

ps WTF poco-poco punya lagu keep on playing in my head!

bye-bye

2009-01-02T00:20:00.000+08:00

Ok I'm going to Permata tomorrow.
See you guys next 2 weeks. At KLCC perhaps?

i said i want to remain 23 this year, zaza said whatever makes me sleep at night

2009-01-01T12:24:00.005+08:00

Happy New Year 2009!

I remembered my last year's resolution was
'To be nice to people I don't know, to remember to smile to makcik nasik lemak, salesgirl, people behind ticket counter, and appear sweet to them'

So this year would be
'Never take a day at work for granted, appearance speaking!'

Hahaha. Well that sure gonna drill holes in my pocket!

dress down outing

2008-12-31T18:32:00.004+08:00

I love dress down outing. It means that I get to wear flip flops and he gets to put on his favourite shorts and we avoided huge malls and just hang around singing (and dancing) in the car.

I took the altered CK pants (God bless Christmas sale!) from Aunty Magic. Seriously if you are still wondering where to alter pants/blouse/whatever go figure Aunty Alternative at Wisma Central. Ground floor you can never miss it. Reasonable price and she can alter anything under the sun at good price! Hence the name Magic.

Then went lepak kat Old Town Jln Yap Kwan Seng. Then taktau nak buat apa bf pandang muka I, I pandang muka dia, muak pandang each other pergi OU jumpa Jackson at Russell. My very metrosexual bf wanted to have his hair cut. The super bushy-helmet-shaped hair and janggut yang sejemput dan awkward, he looks like someone from Ashahbul Kahfi (ok tak funny).

Sekali Jackson off day. Jangan you berani nak pergi SAW potong rambut dengan perempuan Jade hot tu haaa.. Hehehe

Oh in between ada lah episode duet Pussycat Dolls, conversation like U-rasa-I-independent-tak kind of talk, repeated jokes and stories.

He hopes that I would enjoy my PIPE.

I suka bf I semenjak kerja ni dia pandai betul ambil hati and petah bercakap. Haha.

the last weekend

2008-12-27T22:57:00.004+08:00

I
could
not
wait
to
start
work.

This is my final unemployment weekend.
People in Seremban, lets get wicked before I rotate my days into auto-pilot.

Things I must do

Have white coffee at Old Town Jusco preferably, not alone.
Go for a swim. I have lower back pain and its scaring me off!
Pack for Permata.
Paint the room.
KWSP for address changing. Since when I duduk kat Pasir Mas Kelantan???
Start (to try) read Twilight. Must must try hard!

Yet the bf attended one of his schoolmate wedding and I said
'Ramainyaaa kawan you dah kawin. I ni asyik pergi wedding kakak dengan abang kawan-kawan I je...'

Kalau I jadi you mesti I pening tak ada baju dah nak pakai. Haha.
Speaking of which,
Fifa esok I recycle baju je. Sorry!

my sister went away and a part of me went with her too

2008-12-27T18:05:00.005+08:00

So you know we sent the sister to Penang. And lucky Penangites they get to enjoy free wifi broadband for the whole island (incoming).

Now I don't have cooking partner. We used to cook lunch and towards the evening we cluttered the kitchen with measurement spoons, spilled flour and quarreled over the correct speed of Kenwood mixture. Trust me, if I were alone, I won't spend more than 10 minutes in the kitchen let alone cook.

I find no self-satisfaction in cooking. You know? Lepas masak tak ada rasa apa-apa. Biase jeee.

She used to hate me when I start flipping my books. She said I look horrible and intense-ly not pretty when I'm drowning myself into the so-called deep emotion. Sometimes I read under the comforter, or hide my books with a huge pillow or sneak the book into the toilet (haha kidding!).

Or else she starts screaming at me.

We fight, we scream at each other. When we were extremely mad mula lah tukar style address each other kau-aku. If not we have special names for each other like lovers even the parents wonder what they meant.

Secretly I hate her steady boyfriend because I'm afraid they are going to get married and left me nobody I could actually speak to in this house.

Haha gila paranoid, fyi she's younger than me by 2 years.

Tag by Mrs Sarah Pahmi

2008-12-25T22:10:00.007+08:00

List these rules on your blog.

* Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog.
* Tell 7 unspectacular quirks on yours.
* Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
* Link the person who tagged you.
* Leave a comment for each blogger.
So here it goes...

7 FACTS ABOUT MYSELF

1) I'm attracted to happy funny hilarious people.

2) I will not wear ill-fitting pants/tops. The fitter the better. Hehe.

3) I pretend to like Will Smith just to blend in with people who do.

4) I have trouble going to the loo every morning. Get me?

5) I put one this fierce looking face just so that people don't bully me.

6) I have no allergies towards anything accept for dusts.

7) One thing I can never tolerate is bad odour/smell of anything. I have a nose as powerful as the mouse.

7 UNSPECTACULAR QUIRKS ABOUT ME

1) I don't know the meaning of the word quirks.

2) There's a dictionary beside this keyboard but I'm too lazy to look it up, so I just assume, ok?

3) I say weird things because there are a lot of unorganized stuffs inside my head.

4) One of the reasons I love my bf to death is his skills and passion to put up with my shopping crave...eh needs. Shopping needs.

5) I like to describe things. And usually I demand that from others too.

6) I judge people by their choices of musics and movies. And I don't see any harm passing initial judgments. They are to be broken, anyway.

7) I think male is the better gender! Ok kill me now!

THE 7 PEOPLE THAT IM TAGGING

1) Hani. I like her style.
2) Alia B. Cheer up ok!
3) Mei Yuan. Kenapa suka post entry hanging. I was like what happened? What happened?
4) Niema.
5) Bzr, dude I know you like talking about yourself haha.
6) Pitya
7) Stalkers. Friends anyone?

back from PD

2008-12-14T17:22:00.003+08:00

Here are the results from PD

My fat cousins were not so impressed with my swimming skills. They are too scared to enter the adult pool anyway.
My siblings and cousins and I were very ambitious to touch the pink buoy that was around 300 meters off the shore. And we did!
Ayah brought along the boat. So we ride hundred times. I tried to maneuver the boat but it ain't easy as it looks.
Siapa-siapa ada issue I pakai tudung macam kat bawah ni, keep it to yourself. The damage is done!

choco break!

2008-12-13T09:53:00.005+08:00

I'm sorry for the lack of updates, I'm too busy indulging time with myself. Dealing with HR, shopping for work wear, spending time with actual people (blog people isn't real to my definition hehe).

Where are you dear? Haven't heard from you since Tuesday. You said you email...?

Today I'm going to PD for a weekend with the family, cousins and uncles and aunties. I packed my swimwear, sunblock (I won't trade fun for kusam-ness, NEVER!), armours (books, iPod, magazines) and all set to go for a swimming good-time with big fat cute cousins. I'm gonna show off my swimming skills to win their heart. I'll pretend to drown and tickle their feet and dive underwater to impress them. I'm all planned up, Yeay!

I dah beli satu baju kerja ok. You kalau tengok mesti you buat muke tengok ruffles banyak sangat. Or you'll say 'Bukan mainnnyee..' But I like. I even emailed you the picture. Go check.

Then on Monday I'll leave for Teluk Intan to meet the Opah. The day after we'll go to Damai Laut with the cousins of mom's side. I'm not really close with them because they are all very quiet (I nampak macam from another planet bila I buat muka excited). But it's ok. I'll try to maintain my composure and be the sweet big sister they never had.

Call me. I miss. You.

this is my third cup of coffee

2008-12-04T10:59:00.007+08:00

You know, my mom has a habit. She will not make/cook anything my father's favourite when he's not around. For example, my father loves his dark coffee, and his daughter loves them as much as he does.

So when the father is away to work for two weeks, this poor little girl struggle to make her own cup herself. But of course it doesn't taste the same. The bitterness, the creamy taste, the color intensity, the aftermath of every sip, just not as same!

But yesterday, when the father came home, and today she wakes up jumping off the bed and straight to the dining table and see the favourite coffee filling in a big huge mug.
Her mug.
She smiled, and rub her sleepy eyes.

It also proves that, she is, easy to please.

cheese cake with crushed oreo bottom and fresh strawberries topping

2008-12-03T01:37:00.009+08:00

We (as in the sister and I) make desserts quite every day. Last time was Chocolate Cake with extra chocolate topping, Chocolate Pudding, and sampailah ke Pengat Pisang.

Tomorrow we'll be making cheese cake. Yeay!

Btw, here are some pictures during Fifah's birthday at TGI kat tepi jalan tu i pun tak ingatlah nama jalan tu, duh I bukan orang KL ok. Almost a month ago, but since friendship is supposed to have no expire date, uh what am I talking about? Tengok (grab) je lah.

To Zu : Thank you for the email, even tho it took you forever to send me. I appreciate it, thanks!
To Fifa : Fa, we need serious shit punya bonding session.
To whoever physically not there that night : Can make up with us thru real-phone calls, or any effort towards future meeting ups. Sarah exempted since she's not in the same continent.

I sound familiarly garang kan? One of reason terkejut bf away lagi this weekend. Another reason tanya Zu, dia tau.

there is a reason why i prefer not to talk to strangers

2008-12-01T19:35:00.004+08:00

Like today for example. I waited at Twin Tower Medical Center from 9am to 12.30am with growling stomach that matched the roar of baby tiger. There were plenty of (old) glossy magazines which I read skin to skin, until my neck felt painful from the bowing down reading.

At the waiting area (had to wait for blood test, X-ray, audio metric test etc etc) there were a lot of people. Foreigners, senior staffs, hardly anyone I can hello to. But there was one particular lady (I guess the same age of mine) that physically speaking, seemed relate-able.

It took me hours to say hi. (We were sitting side by side for couple of hours, must I stand firm on my egocentric behavior?)

Then we talked. Common stuffs. Like what are you doing here, names, little background. Until she started to shot some personal questions.

Dear readers. I think it's inappropriate or kinda rude to ask things like

'How many A's did you score for your SPM?'
'With that (not so) many A's how can you get a scholarship from PETRONAS?'

After 5 minutes of introductory conversation, she asked

'Berapa basic gaji you nanti yee?'

Ok, tu belum habis lagi, bila dia keluar hp and tanya
'Apa number hp you eh? Nanti I dah kerja sini boleh kita lunch together'

I don't know the nicest way to say to strangers that I don't do random exchanging hp numbers.

Sikit lagi nak bagi hp number bf. Tapi nanti dia tau apa pulak dia fikir kan
'Ei budak perempuan tu psycho orang minta hp number pun tak bagi, bukannya nak ngorat pun!'

I psycho ke?

the day before my medical check up

2008-11-30T15:01:00.004+08:00

I'm going for medical check up tomorrow and I'm scaaaaared to shit.

*Entah apa-apa macam orang tua conservative takut pergi doctor*

And yesterday I sms the 'Aunty' telling I received the offer letter and all. It was funny, my first sms to someone's mom. I was extremely nervous and sent a pre-sms to the bf for his approval.

'Ok tak? Do I sound cool?'

Nasib baaaaik la I ni boleh lah jugak harap buat ayat-ayat manis dlm sms ni kan. Kira my sms words boleh-tahan-killer-jugak-lah. Kalau tak takkan someone tu suruh tolong-tolong karang sms utk mak bf dia. (tolong ayat je, content dia punya sendiri..) *Wave excitedly Natasha*

And the Aunty replied. Hah so sweet wish I could share here but NO I WON'T. I think I even smiled to sleep.

Ok I'll let you know if I can, or can not, urinate with a stranger looking at me, tomorrow!

listen, I have a little news to announce...

2008-11-27T18:11:00.004+08:00

Ok, fairly speaking this news ain't that little anymore. Since I have been blabbering over it for almost 6 months, (that's half a year, that's 2.17% of my lifetime) I finally have it.

Have what you ask? Well dear you must be some kind of lost or extremely totally new here.

I was awaken by a call from GTS informing me to pick up the offer letter and this annoying (but sweet) friend of yours will eventually start off work at Jan the 2nd 2009.

I will be a colleague of Ealya and she already called me Chinn when I visited her department (that soon will be 'our' department, haha semangat gila medical check up tak pass lagi).

Need to give a serious talk on 'Dont call me Chinntet kat office ye.'

And to him, big giant thank you for your prayers, support (in your very own kind of way, you did) and love (again, in your very own kind of way...you did ;p ).

for unemployed, friday is JUST like another day

2008-11-21T13:43:00.008+08:00

I think this place of mine is becoming whiny and motherly-like. Euw kan. I am not a bubbly person that talk endless, but I love making people laugh. If not I would think I bore them.

Once the bf said I was so funny that I could qualify for Raja Lawak Astro. (not sure thats a compliment or a complaint)

Today I called and ask for follow ups about the offer letter. But the GTS Lady cakap she can't promise I'll be on board for training on Dec itself. Grrrr. I keep myself busy munching chocolates and drinking milk with loads of episodes of Californication to balance out this maternal instinct in me.

While mounting the Hershey's wrapper and gulping cold HL, at episode 7 season 1 I think, the moment they played Foo Fighter's - The Pretender I said,

'Ahhh that's it! Ni memang cerita I.'

my armour part 2

2008-11-19T19:37:00.011+08:00

Hello and hi everyone.

I am now in deep euphoria over Haruki Murakami - After Dark. Since my current job tittle reads 'Heavy Sleeper' (hope it's gonna change soon) I forced myself to add something new to the bookshelf.

Been asking friends around for books on recommendation. Natasha recommended The Reluctant Fundamentalist. Actually I had the guy at MPH Jusco to order for me, but since I had to go to KLCC on short notice yesterday (tak sempat tu nak shape eyebrow, betapa tak confidentnya I!) so I pay a visit to Kinokuniya.

The book was apparently sold out, but the helpful sale-lady managed to dig the store for newly fresh one from the box! And I can help to look at the workers kat Kinokuniya with envy-eye, gila best diorang bergelumang dalam buku. The same look I have for librarians. Hmmm...

Anyway, when I read a book, and thrown deep into the emotion of the book, the feeling is indescribable. The feeling is almost not singular, but mixed and complicated macam the writer try to tell me a lot of things at a time. Macam dalam kepala I ada movie with the characters play their part according to the story. The feeling best gila I bet lagi best dari orgasm.

Senang cerita I memang obsess dengan words. Kalau Fifa buat report ayat tak sedap I tengah tidur boleh terjaga. Selagi tak bangun betul kan ayat dia, I tak boleh lena. Haha.

So kan, bila kita baca translated books, macam Murakami, Marquez ni kan, of course lah dah translated. I wonder, is the feeling would be the same if we read from the original language? Meaning if we understand and read in Japanese, will it be the same feeling as we read in English translated by some professor?

Faham ke tak faham I cakap apa ni?

Hah, tu lah Haney siapa suruh tak amik English Literature.

And today I went eyebrow shaping!

my armour

2008-11-18T20:51:00.005+08:00

Hujan lah malam-malam,
nak curl dalam selimut gosok-gosok kaki kat katil sambil baca buku cite.

To Zu : Ye lah I tau buku I boring. Tapi please JANGAN panggil I 'Chintet!!!' dengan kuat kat lobby Tower 1 ok. I won't forgive you next time!

kesyukuran

2008-11-17T21:29:00.005+08:00

Thanksgiving comes early this year!

Meaning, bersyukur sebab The Parents dah balik dari Kota Kinabalu entangled me with all the chauffeuring, cooking, cleaning and babysitting! Bukan tak biasa buat (ceh, reputation kena jaga?) tapi bila sorang-sorang in charge of everything memang boleh bagi mild depression.

NASIB BAIK SPM sekali seumur hidup kalau tak dah bergaduh dengan Qawiem yang main order je nak pergi sana-sini group study. Baru tadi hantar pergi Seremban Jaya (that is 40 minutes drive with Chintet-speed-skills and traffic). Esok paper Add Math baru malam ni nak pergi group study? Questionable sungguh.

And Ma asked 'What do you want from KK? ' I asked what's there for me? She said pearls and those kind of stuff, and she knew I'm not into such things. So I said, 'Ma nak tie rack scarf satu boleh?' Haha.

Yeah Thanksgiving comes early baby!

another day yang biasa

2008-11-16T21:40:00.004+08:00

Still in the Angelic-First-Child-Syndrome, I took Qusyairi out with the other cousins. There were 5 of us, watching Quantum of Solace and a game of bowling.

First, I want to tell you that I don't suck at all at bowling. I thought the first one with the berries was quite a bit of luck, but this time around I know I can bowl. Can je lah, tak tere macam Azra.

But my cousin Abang Nazri was persistent to tease me that I have this let's-go-to-the-mall-walk until I reached to the point where you throw the ball. Malu la tak confident nanti orang cakap baudget PRO. And tadi baru perasan ada alley tu ada arrow-arrow. Haha!

Everyday I called Ma to report details at home. Lampu dah bukak? Dah. Gate dah lock? Dah. Adik dah solat? Dah.

It's almost 10 pm now, kena hantar tuition lagi. Pukul 12 midnight nnt jemput. Kereta sudah isi minyak RM30 untuk satu hari. SATU HARI!

i find myself to be annoyingly nice

2008-11-16T01:26:00.004+08:00

...because I just made some hotdogs with hotdogs buns and mustard and pickles with lemonade for Qawiem's friends who actually came for a suspicious 'last minute SPM discussion'.

...I companied Qusyairi over Fantastic 4 Silver Surfer and laughed at the jokes as if it was my first time watching.

...rub the cat's tummy (yes my cat doesn't has a name) until he felt asleep (on my lap!)

kind of miss u

2008-11-14T23:01:00.006+08:00

When you are really tired, you have no energy to even smile or giggle at little bothers' jokes and stories. Today I have to make breakfast, send to school, fetch them, cook lunch, make sure they take their supplements, laundry, housekeeping, send to training, fetch again, prepare tea, prepare dinner, send tuition, fetch again, and my work stopped at 11.30 am!
If you claimed to be a super-multi-tasker BUT u have a maid, that's just cheating babe.
Nasib baik 5 hari je. Malam-malam tido ketakutan and in fright paranoia sbb parents tak ada. I was so scared that I even wake up to the sound of croaking frogs. Last-last tarik tilam tidur bilik the boys hehe.
Hence I treasure the time Suraya (Hanim) came over to pass the CD and we went stalking some old friends! ;p

today i go full throttle

2008-11-12T22:57:00.008+08:00

The precious parents went to Kota Kinabalu and left me being head of the house for 5 days. I have to wake up at 5 in the morning to make sure Qawiem is awake. Then crawl back to bed and wake up again around 645 to prepare breakfast. (Muka I masam mengantuk tak payah cerita lah, mesti ramai dah biasa). Then drive them to school.

Come back, do some laundry, dishes, and all that stuffs then mandi. Perkara biasa tak payah explain. Around 11am prepare lunch. Ha yang ni I nak cerita.

Everyone closed to me knew by heart that I don't cook. I am simply not interested to know how to cook.

Ma always nag me and I assure her when the time comes, I will be good. Just not time yet, nanti bila terdesak baru lah buat. Macam tak biasa.

Before Ma left, she instructed me on the menu, since it's SPM and she tried to avoid eating out. Today I made sup tulang dengan kicap pedas tu. Tomorrow spaghetti bolognaise, and Ma prepared some rendang dinding for Friday so I need to add on something else like goreng sayur ke ape. (Ingat I helpless sgt ke? Ops ter-bitter lagi)

But the thing is kan, I don't eat what I made myself. Like today, tak sentuh langsung mee hun sup, rela makan Chipsmore cicah susu.

Kalau nampak I cengkung, mungkin ada 2 sebab,
satu sebab tak makan, satu sebab rindu.

today I paint the town, grey

2008-11-11T21:57:00.007+08:00

Today too, I refuse to listen to my gloomy inner-self. And tried to make myself busy (by sleeping?) helping father painting the new room.

I know I'm not bad painter (even the contractor said I have steady hands) so I offered to help a bit. Since I have no old clothes that deserved 'to be painted', Ma made me wear Ayah's old blue coverall and I folded the sleeves, since of course, it outsized me. Rasa macam The Inside Man lah pulak.

Except that Clive Owen crime lady has Cleavage capital C

Well, that is the closest I get to wearing coverall I guess. (read with sarcastic tone)

While painting dengan semangat (kena semangat sikit, kalau lembut-lembut nanti cat kat roller susah lekat kat dinding), I shouted to my father
I : Alaaaa Ayaaaaah! Nak hujan laa, rasa air rintik-rintik!
Ayah : Tu bukan hujan, tu cat lah..

Then I look at my hands, there were a few tiny drops of paint. Yelah kalau kuat and laju sangat press the rollers, mesti ada drops terpecik sikit kan.
Haiya lupe pakai rubber glove!!

are we the perfect match?

2008-11-10T22:03:00.007+08:00

Today I refuse to listen to my inner-self, that is becoming bitter and all soured-up due to uhm.. (ok lets not finish that sentence shall we)

Since the house is under renovation phase the dusts and sands are like your second skin of your feet. I'm enjoying the luxury of wireless, and blogging with heavily cushioned pillow to support the skinny butt of mine (I love to do that as long as I can remember). And take up new series, Californication with the super hot but lame David Duchovny and shuffling over Bittersweet's Perfect Match. (Lagu ini menyentuh jiwa laaaa)

No, Fa, I tak recommend lagu tu untuk wedding your sister ye!

Today, mom said not ONE, but TWO things that can make me choke on my own tounge.

'Ampaian besar ni tak payah dah la Ma, kita pakai ampaian roda tu laa..' Me said referring to the relocation of ampaian kain when all the renovation mess is over.
'Eh.. nanti korang tu dah ada family, kena pakai ampaian besaaar' Mama said and I terdiam terus.

Ok, lagi satu malas lah I nak tulis, memalukan diri sendiri.

I don't blame Ma, she has no idea I'm on no speaking term with the bf ;(

don't talk about sunshine with me

2008-11-02T01:30:00.004+08:00

Stop talking about silver-linings with me.

Stop being so positive, because you don't even hold my future.

Stop giving me hopes, you are not the one who suffers if everything fails.

ps I can always opt to getting married, and live under husband expenses, but I know I can never do that to myself. Just not that person.

pss I am worried that I cannot sleep. I cannot sleep. Tau tak dah berapa lama I tak pernah tak boleh tidur? Last time I was worried I cannot sleep must be the tunggu result UPSR. (Anxious nak exam and anticipated nak balik rumah sbb homesick doesn't count.)

come November, yet nothing change

2008-10-31T21:23:00.007+08:00

2 reasons why Civil Engineering and Construction and I, hardly blend...

I have terrible fear of heights. Meaning kalau kena lompat longkang, kat tebing tinggi angin kuat, jambatan gantung (!), my tummy akan buat exercise on its own (ops tapi bukan yoga, yoga itu murtad ;p )
I do not like to be bathe in the sun. This radiant skin (bear with me please), which I gained through months and months of in-house-quarantine will turn their back one me after just 10 minutes under hot sun. Penniless I can manage, kusamness-I'll die of humiliation!

Ok, dah, 2 je cukup. Banyak-banyak lemak nanti.
(Mana tau nnti ada future employee terbaca ni, bye-bye future job)

Other stuff going on is that, Fifa will be starting off work next month!!! Weeeeee!!!!
Dengar dia complain pasal EE (that's electrical eng) selama 5 tahun okay. Sekali buat Marketing, tapi takpe, she's easy-goer, sure can fit well punya.

Fa, jgn busy sangat sampai CHANGE.

Ok taknak fikir pasal kerja, this Sunday ada big date. Lama tak jumpa Bf, I need another strong word to describe rindu.

i used to quote that the biggest ship is friendship

2008-10-30T20:58:00.005+08:00

I always stand on firm that relationship needs effort. You can expect someone to love you unconditionally, without you loving them as much as well. You can not expect one to remain head over heels for the rest of their loving life, with you looking adorable and pretty, idiotic-ly cute, loud and all initial reasons that made him love you.

You need effort. You have to give out something you may hate to give in. The trick is how to balance that, and make it look effortless to everyone else, hehe. (So you look cool and nampak chill always)

Guess what? I personally think the law applies to friendship as well. Expect the other friend will wait for your return after years, and expect us to be like we used to be? Expect that mere hours from years of absence shall erase the gaping distance?

I hope you get what I mean.

kenapa prison break stops at episode 8?

2008-10-27T22:38:00.010+08:00

Today is moody day. I am whole day buat muka, strike on no speaking term to anybody unless necessary, and I don't know what kind of benefit I get from that. Dropped by 7E for Slurpee and Qusyai made a scene by spilling slurpee kat lantai 7E Paroi Jaya tu ha. I said sorry to the cashier girl, and I totally mean it.

The bf was asking me on how I would like his new room to be decorated. He even said to put on some long cushioned chairs by the window for my reading pleasure. I must say he's becoming cool-er and sweet-er since kerja ni.

And I saw ridiculously cute kittens abandoned at the pool. Btw kenapa orang macam tak ada akal nak tinggalkan kucing kat swimming pool? Bukan ada cafe ke, kantin ke, kucing-kucing tu boleh makan. Need to borrow cages from friend kalau nak bawak kucing balik. But house is a mess at the moment. Takut kucing sesak nafas sbb sini dusty dgn construction work.

Anyway, nnti kucing kat rumah yang sekor ni, dia terasa tak kalau I bawak balik kucing baru?

a common Saturday of my life

2008-10-25T21:58:00.011+08:00

And this is one of my favourite cousin. I like him because he's chubby, fat, kerek gile (I find it HOT!), and has smile that can melt my cold heart away.

First, we went to Bukit Antarabangsa, which according to bf, orang sana panggil B.A (oh ye ke, mana I tau, type sms siap penuh lagi B-u-k-i-t....) for open house at KakNgah Fazlin. Traffic was bad, my father berleter, semua buat muka ketat dalam kereta. I on the other hand did not offer to drive at all, since I didn't bring my glasses. And yes, I quit lenses. Benci mata always dry, end up terkenyit-kenyit je.

Then we drove (we? I mean my father, I slept the whole way ;p ) to Putra Heights for some old good times with family. Tengok rumah baru my uncle, comment nenek
'Besar berdengung rumah kau Haruuunnnn..!'

Then balik, pening kepala (sbb bangun pagi) and my neck hurts (sbb tidur banyak dalam kereta).

On the different note, I slept late yesterday listening to Snow Patrol, Hundred Million Suns! Haha, ada ke orang tidur lambat dengar whole album (ade Chintet! orang takde keje!) and I must, must say I love it!

Personal favourite
-If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It
-Crack The Shutters
-Lifeboats
-Set Down Your Glass
-Sebenarnya semua suke.

Ok, later aligator.

shoooeebeeduwaaap

2008-10-22T23:46:00.015+08:00

They told me be careful
They said be weary of you
They warn persistence is the fatal flaw,

I find myself waiting
Find myself hoping that you
One day fall into my open arms

But it's ok, you can just call me friend
Even though I mind I'll just take the backseat again
In the end I'm here
In the end just sit and stare
The season change not making way
As I'm just waiting waiting waiting for you..

p/s the lyrics of the song (and the vocalist fray-like tone ) has been haunting me all day. layan je lah orang tak ada kerja ni. and tengah ter-inspired dengan finale Project Runway Season 5.

a desperate attempt of an unemployed

2008-10-21T23:20:00.010+08:00

Just now, when I read Fifa's 'recommendation' to use my blogspot profile photo for my resume, I laughed kuat gila ter-annoyed Mama yang tengah layan drama Melayu TV3.

But then, I realized, that in fact, maybe that's the reason why I haven't heard from PETRONAS.
Maybe because my resume-photo is not 'captivating' and 'eye-catching' enough?

So I made a little decision. I akan replace gambar resume I dengan salah satu gambar di bawah...

CHOICE NO 1 - budak ni nampak selekeh, calon baik jadi engineer. civil.

CHOICE NO 2 - nampak macam people person, boleh jadi HR personnel.

CHOICE NO 3 - (kalau diorang baca blog I, they'll know...)

CHOICE 4 - susah gilaa nak dapat momentum senyum mcm ni, slalu either terlalu excited nampak semua baris gigi, or muka kerut garang macam katak. This one just nice, this image kena carry dalam resume kot?

In comparison with this! Buruk gila mengucap je lah.

Jangan risau, weight kat atas tu dah akan ditambah 4 kilo lagi. So tak nampak macam skinny cheese stick, yang maybe bagi perception ada physical barrier!

Keane new album is out

2008-10-21T01:15:00.008+08:00

I love the cover

Being another, ordinary, self proclaimed Keane fan, I jumped when my PA in entertainment relation (bf lah tu) told me to dload their new album -Perfect Symmetry.

But much much to my disappointment, track no 1 to no 4, I seriously cannot tolerate.
Escp Spiralling yang macam Maroon 5 meet Keane meet Jennifer Paige. Macam terlolong-lolong pun ada.

Tapi track 5 above ok la. Not that melodic and melayang-layang as I expected, but ok boleh dengar dalam kereta, dalam komuter, or teman mop lantai dapur.

Anyway, I like these (indirectly telling those yang malas dengar whole album macam Fifa)

- Perfect Symmetry
- Playing Along
- Love Is The End

Btw, dengarlah whole album, mana tau nanti lagu keluar Gossip Girl ke, One Tree Hill ke, boleh jerit
'Eh tu lagu baru Keane!!'

Tapi kalau tengok Gossip Girl sorang-sorang pakai headphone je pulak tu, tak payah la jerit kot?

the day ampangan bergegar sikit

2008-10-21T01:01:00.000+08:00

this is rambling over a glass of coke

2008-10-15T15:19:00.008+08:00

Ok, gambar profile baru I mcm agak disturbing ye. Kalau baby orang tua cakap tak elok pandang dia angle macam tu, nnt dah besar juling. ;p

I am still in Raya mood, hence yesterday we went all out beraya and camwhoring (bahasa budak-budak remaja sekarang). Hey it' s hard to have all the 'berries' together for once. So instead of Berries-The Usuals, I called it Berries-Reunited (Paan came back frm The States for good).

And last two days, we went bowling. Ye, semua, main bowling after almost 8 years (that would be me). Dulu tak silap main kat Parkson yang ada strange vibe je escp dalam lift. Even though the place was beyond pathetic, I did not blend in with the environment.

Contractor dah start kerja. Privacy invasion! Tingkap bilik must be kept closed to avoid dust, and the workers suka tenung-tenung bila I jemur kain.

Bukan jemur kain berkemban pun. (Meaning?)

Open House rumah Suraya

2008-10-13T01:01:00.003+08:00

Hari Raya Re-Celebrated

2008-10-12T20:21:00.010+08:00

Ayah came back from offshore and we went all out to celebrate him. In photos are extended family of Ayah's side, my super cranky aunties, cool cute nenek and quiet uncles.

Photo taken by Mr Hafiiz.

My mother and I. Do we look alike?

after more than 5 weeks

2008-10-08T10:38:00.005+08:00

After more than 5 weeks from being (physical) absent, we finally met each other yesterday. No running with open arms like those Hindustan movie with melancholic songs as the background ya.
But I did giggle and laugh nervously in the car, malu lah konon! Menyampahkan?

Let me spare you the detail of our outing, but I must tell you we had 2 Nandos meals for the day, one in OU and another one in Midvalley. Hah! Ada orang tu dah sukaaaa gila Nandos and take back what he said about Nandos back then.

And we met Mok and his gf (I still don't know what her name is, but we used to call her 'Kakak gf Mok' haha malu kalau dia tau!). Nice to see UTP pair still goes a pair.

I wanted to buy the Topshop jeans, but later I said 'It wasn't necessary'
I wanted to buy the Pull and Bear tee, but I told myself 'It's not that necessary'
Bila dah ade duit, susah betul nak spend ye?

I call the day as, My strong-self against consumerism force.

the routine

2008-10-06T01:00:00.004+08:00

Seriously, I get tired of people asking me what have I been doing the past 4 months.

Pssst, I still have ample money in the account, from previous paycheck. When I feel like a loser, I went eyebrow shaping. Or manicure pedicure. Or facial. Or shopping. Or calling friends and talk.

Or do you want to know bit by bit, minute by minute what I do everyday?

I know you don't but I'm telling anywaaaay!

10.00 am - I usually get off bed at this time. Nobody's home. Peek on the pc and see how the movies/series downloading. Grab a cup of coffee. Sit back in front of pc. Hah! Macam kat UTP dah.

10.30 am - Breakfast. With more coffee. Bawak pinggan bfast to the tv room. On tv, straight away click on channel 411, then 412, then 413. Half way through bfast went to start off the washing machine. Then continue eating slowly sambil selak-selak fringe yang annnoying tutup-tutup mata. Kalau bengang sangat cakap 'Argggghh!' berenti makan sekejap pegi carik sepit rambut.

11.00 am - I used to be an avid newspaper junkie, now not anymore. Wash the dishes, clear the sink, wipe dry the dishes, minimals everything you can ever found on the kitchen cabinet by putting/rearranging them in the drawer. I think I am the only living person in this house who likes to keep things minimalist. Vacuum floor. Twice/thrice a day mop the floor.

11.30-12 noon - Jemur baju. Sambil jeling-jeling maids neighbour sebelah yang sure gelak sebab pukul 12 tengah hari baru nak ampai baju. Sebab kejap lagi dalam 2 jam sure kena angkat balik - hujan.

12-1.oo pm - Vacuum the house, lipat baju yang kering semalam. Clean up brothers' room sambil menyumpah-nyumpah. Usually at this time my parents will be home from chores/market/datings/outings whatever you call it. Open the door, they surely will greet me with 'Haney tadi bangun pukol berape? ' 'Pukul sembilan...'

1.00 pm - Mandi! Put on comfortable clothes, put on toner, moisturizer and all that consumerism crap I fall into. Comfortable clothes meaning boxers at night, and non-low cut jeans at noon.

1.30 pm - Prepare for lunch. Prepare je, bukan masak. Tapi sekarang dah rajin sikit peek mama at the kitchen buat muka cool (ego taknak mengaku nak belajar masak, hehe). Then pergi jemput adik-adik sekolah. Wajib pakai oversized shades since I don't want my bother's friends to say 'Weyyh Qawiem mak kau dah sampaiiii...'

2.00 pm - Lunch with family.

2.30 pm - Clean up own room, spray-spray perfume around the room, lay comfortably on bed, pick a novel and read. Sambil gosok-gosok kaki bawah bantal. Heaven!

4.00 pm - Kalau hujan alihkan baju-baju ampaian. Kalau tak pergi hantar Qusyairi diving kat Paroi Jaya. Ini tak pakai oversized shades pun takpe, sebab tak ada sape-sape nak impress.

4.30 pm - Online. Tengok movie kat pc. Text/Call bf. Kalau boring, pergi iron baju. Serious ni!

6.00 pm - Online lagi. In between iron baju-baju yang berbakul-bakul. Aware sikit dgn fon, sbb bf dah habis keje so we usually talk.

7.00 pm - Wait for Maghrib. Duduk lepak-lepak depan tv tengok The Nanny sambil makan ice cream with banana atau kuih karipap. Marah adik-adik sebab everyday kena ingatkan tutup tingkap. Angkat kain baju kat ampaian.

8.00 pm - Hantar Qawiem tution. If not, tengok Oprah. Ye, I tak tengok news langsung.

9.00 pm - Selalunya online. I'm a blog-stalker, online shopping browser, movies addict, series junkie. All together I am an internet-whore.

10-11 pm - Gayut dgn bf sampai (dia) nak tido. Sebab esok dia keja, I tak.

11 - God knows when am - Kalau rasa inspirational update blog. Or blog hopping. Lately addicted to fashion blogs.

That's all. Pretty same things everyday, and quiet similar dengan job scope maid sebelah-sebelah rumah. Allowance pun lebih kurang sama kot? Maybe I dapat privilege drive Honda City Mama, makan ice cream atas katil, online internet, and bila mama suruh siap meja dinner boleh cakap

'Gimme 10 minutes, habiskan The Nanny dulu!'

Hari Raya Ke-4

2008-10-05T11:40:00.004+08:00

Well, well yesterday was a interesting.

Entertaining guests, till after Maghrib, then off to 2 open houses.

One is Atikah's, who hold an open house, so I get the chance to met familiar old faces.
Reminiscing moments with Atikah and her parents, how different it was during our time, dulu pergi competition dapat RM300 pun dah eksyen habis kira banyak kali depan mak bapak.

Qusyairi dengar macam bengang je.

Hahaha.

'Ingat tak coach yang kedekut yang kita semua tak suke tu?'
'Hah? Sapa kedekut? Andy ke?'
'Bukan Andy..!'
'Oohhh Kwan! Yang botak-botak tengah tu ye'

I'm back in the Land where Every Dish Is Cooked In the Color of Yellow.

2008-10-03T23:33:00.007+08:00

Gambar macam iklan Adabi. Whatever!

Drive back from Teluk Intan at 9 am, and reached home around 12noon. Quickly unpacked luggage and quietly closed the gate door (to avoid kids, we hardly have time to unpack, let alone assemble kuih raya!)

Then went to Nenek's House somewhere in Seremban. Happily stuffing my small hand bag with big fat cash. Yippie! Being unemployed does create a HUGE sympathy factor!

Money can buy happiness I tell you. Those who say otherwise didn't know how and where to shop.

My Hari Raya was not quiet meriah as it used to be. In Teluk Intan we just sat home entertaining endless guests. Since there is shortage of human force, I had to change to baju rumah at 2 pm to take care of the dishes on the first day of Hari Raya itself. Grrrrr....

'Tak boleh pakai cawan kertas, orang tua-tua kena hidang pakai cawan berlapik' Tapi guest ada 30 orang, and adik beradik belah mama je 12, sape basuh pinggan? I jugak!
'Jangan pakai jug tu, pakai jug yang ada bunga je' Apa beza bunga tak bunga?
'Jangan buat buffet style, nanti ada yang tak sempat makan' Siapa nak turun naik dapur angkat hidang kalau tiap2 dua jam ada orang datang?

Tapi yang italic tu jawab dalam hati je la.
Sabar je la layan elderly yang bossy ni kan!

hey you!

2008-10-01T00:08:00.003+08:00

Well, I didn't know the internet connection is available at Opah's! If I knew earlier you can expect whole loads of posts in between my 'kopek bawang' and 'merebus ketupat' session!

Yeahhh right!

Maybe I can upload photos!

Kan? Kan? Kan?

To Siti Sarah Pahmi, macamana raya di Perth berdua?

in search for the pieces of aidilfitri spirit left inside of me

2008-09-29T01:28:00.004+08:00

I am not quite excited to celebrate this Hari Raya actually. The super main reason being is that my Ayah is not here, obviously, that sucks much much more than a bad presentation, seriously.

But my sister and I did make 4 types of kuih raya yesterday. Mostly are to be bought to Teluk Intan (mama's hometown) and to appear to be 'not in celebrating mood' in front of them would be unfair, no?

I guess my siblings are growing up. The meaning of aidilfitri would be more than fat duit raya envelopes and finger licking kuah kacang and ketupat. It's being together we look forward too. Oh, now I make myself sounds like a Hallmark Greeting Card!

Partly, I was scared actually. Its a tradition for us (as in the whole mom's side) to go beraya at kampung-kampung yang jalan nya satu lane je, kecik gile, parking pun mencabar skills, lopak-lopak lumpur dan sawah padi yang tricky sebab tanah yang lembik bila-bila je nak menelan tayar kereta.

Contact lenses, check!
Sunglasses, check!
Smart Tag, check!
Fuel tank, (mom) check!
Baju raya, check! check! check!
Cables, camera, chargers, hairdryer, all check!
Toiletries, traveling stuff check!
Novels, magazines, iPod, check! (hey these are my armors)

All set and I'm ready to go.

Selamat Hari Raya everyone. Hope you have a good one. And maaf zahir batin.

ps, I'll be in the Land of Teluk Intan where the river eats land till Friday, so expect nobody's at home. Pls, don't leave confusing comments too!

How I Met Your Mother Season 4

2008-09-26T20:24:00.006+08:00

Why do I find Barney in Season 4 (How I Met Your Mother) is very sweet and adorable?

D...wait for it...
Deeelight-ful!

Delightful!

Maybe because he's gay?
...and he's been working out well too, I notice that.

Damn lah sape lah yang bagitau I he is...

HIMYM defines and rationalizes what relationship means to me. Simple, funny, straight forward and no confusing turns.
I like that, very much.

i am an official prison break season 4 buff!

2008-09-25T02:21:00.009+08:00

I waited with mounting passion for the every episode to complete downloading. Put aside Gossip Girl (that show is losing the X factor for this season ey?) I put this as top download-must!

When the show was rather disappointing (to my liking) at Season 2, and at Season 3, where Sona in Panama was really hot and humid and disgusting. Sona Prison reminds me of

1) Smelly people. Good God they sweat all the time! Once when I was small watching Chef Wan baking cookies and cakes before buka puasa, I wished tv can emit 'smell' as they produce 'sounds'. But I'm glad that was only one stupid wishful thinking.

2) Since they sweat a lot, they must have been very thirsty all the time kan? I tengok pun rasa haus, puasa pulak tu. Macam best dapat minum air sirap kenduri kawin kan? Hehe.

3) Since they have nothing to do in the prison, why don't they just take a nap? Tidur petang je lah, kan best?

4) I told the bf that I think Ballack looks a bit like Dr Isa. Hahahaha.

Season 4 Prison Break is much more stimulating and the whole show did step on the other par.

I miss James Whistler accent and his passionate and deep voice. His face when he speaks, so serene and calm. When he was shot in the head, I screamed and my mother thought I saw intruders in the house. (I was watching at 2 am, what do u think)

However, am I the only person who thinks Michael and Sara, they have no, none, nada chemistry on set?

Ok, come on episode 5 (and incoming), jangan malukan I, first time ni semangat blog pasal favourite show!

last ten days of Ramadhan

2008-09-23T01:35:00.006+08:00

Today is the last day Ayah buka puasa together since he'll be leaving for Kerteh tomorrow. So the aunties and the uncles came over for buka puasa and they left after terawih.

While doing the usual ushering them out and salam-salaman outside the house, under cold chilly night, today Qusyairi said to me
'Hari ni KakNi tunggu lah Lailatul Qadr'

I widened my eyes, did not see that coming from him.
'Nanti KakNi boleh nampak cahaya terang kat luar, pokok-pokok tunduk'

Hah, budak ni confirm baru lepas (kena paksa) baca surat khabar dengan mama since I remembered reading about an article on Lailatul Qadr when flipping thru the newspapers this morning.

'Sambil KakNi tengok The Nanny pkol 12 nanti, ha, tengok-tengoklah kat luar tu, kot-kot boleh nampak Lailatul Qadr'
I laughed hard, gelak omg-bangangnya! Nasib baik adik sendiri so cannot verbalize the word 'bangang' tu.

But that laughing moment didn't stay too long when he finally said
'Kalau KakNi nampak Lailatul Qadr, boleh doa dapat kerja cepat...'

Senyap semua.

And I stroke his back for having a slight idea that this 13-year old brother in front of me, is maybe silly, but lovingly sweet.

2008-09-21T23:54:00.002+08:00

To Miss Natasha Arifin (with one F),

have the happieeeest Birth Day in the world,

be the cooooolest doctor on earth,

the prettieeeeest medical practitioner in the planet,

the greateeeeeest girl*cough*cough*friend ever.

Among the textbooks that I'm sure you are buried under at this point of time,

again,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING!

Convocation dinner. we girls memang lack of social skill tak habis-habis amik gamba dgn org yang same!

2008-09-19T23:45:00.014+08:00

smile darling

2008-09-19T23:45:00.012+08:00

I would be lying if I say nothing is bothering me. It's not actually a problem, just that the uncertainties that are so horror to face alone. I must keep cool for the sake of everyone around me. If I wasn't, if I were to break down, then I'll be pulling everyone around me too.

So there! Breaking down is not an option. So smile!

I hate talking about what's bothering me. I don't like to speak what inside, but when I do, I'll come to a person. If I cannot express my thoughts and worries in words, I pull some lady stunt also known as crying. Then I'll be ok. Really ok.

A cynic like me let go things easily.

And when I wake up I would say
'Kenapa nangis semalam macam bangang je!'

*this post emosi sikit, jangan question kenapa banyak complicated feelings, mungkin pms, mungkin tidak*

When I was watching Oprah, she said something about crying your heart out and let go. Duh, itu I pun tau, tak payah tanya Dr Oz.

It has been 3 weeks I haven't get to see my favourite face. The bushy black hair, the chubby fat fingers, the pair of mata sepet yang almost unseen when he smiled. (Oh I make him sounds like a baby did I?). Not so long, week 5 come quick!

But we talk like hours on the phone. Sometimes we (he) watched tv with me on the other line. Ceh mentang-mentang supplementary line. Banyak kali dia gelak tengok drama melayu and I was 'Kenapa? Kenapa?' nak gak tau ape yang kelakar kan...

Oh yesss, I 'm listening to Fall For You (hehe Zu you make me like this one) using phone. Hint hint lah tu ada phone baru. I like this phone sebab ade QuadraPop (Im a huge fan of any games wt color and Tetris-like) yang sangat addictive and cute.

no hari raya for me this year

2008-09-18T12:12:00.002+08:00

It's final. The father is not able to take days off for coming Hari Raya. He said they are shutting down the platform and everyone has to be there.

Talking about Hari Raya is a bit awkward in the house. We (as in Mama, adik-adik and I) have to drive on our own to Teluk Intan w/o Ayah. So Mama said no baking kuih raya or whatsoever related to thecelebration should be mentioned until Ayah left for Kerteh. It's sad. I can't remember the last time we had not celebrate it together.

But I acted cool. Until the morning raya when we have the salam-salam raya event going on, and talking to ayah over the phone may invite major water works.

Haha, over lah.

are you passionate enough?

2008-09-17T01:18:00.008+08:00

I haven't been writing any post here for a long time. Actually I don't know what to tell here anymore. Not that my life is ever as interesting before.

I always tell my close friends, that I am very turn on by passionate people. It's like when they do their 'thing' nothing in the world can ever come across. The fact is, I envy that. Since I find myself hardly passionate about anything (well, reading blogs don't count!) since everything I do, I get bored easily.

I remember last time when I saw the bf were very into his 'manufacturing thing' that has to do with hand skills that he rarely pays attention to me, my turn on button went all greeeen!

Passion is sexy.

However, there are some people with passion that really turns me off. It's not that them being passionate yang turned me off, but the thing they are passionate about. Faham ke? Tak faham takpelah nak buat macamane kan?

Let see, how these kind of people, if I ever have to talk to them and the first 5 minutes conversation would be one of these below, I will roll my eyes make my faces.

1) Those who are passionate with themselves! Diorang sajelah yang betul, yang pandai, yang smart, yang terbaik. These people hardly make jokes about themselves, and when other people do, they get emotional. Jalan kat rumah diorang lah yang paling cantik, batu rumah diorang lah yang paling best (ha-ha ingat tak sape?), degree dioranglah yang paling susah, life diorang lah yang paling unique. What the hell? Eh yang ni kasi harsh sikit - what the f?
2) Obsess with PDA. I know you have a bf, guess what, I do too ;p Tapi gambar kissing and hugging macam tak sesuai ecp when you recently 'polished' and 'upgraded' your social appearance. I puke a little in my mouth, thanks to you.
3) Those who talk about their political stands very seriously. Those who obsessed about finding other people fault, like whatever they believed in is ultimately correct and those opposing that is definitely jahat and salah. Hello, have you heard the word different? (Refer 1 back). Usually when I look up at certain someone, and when that certain someone talks about politics, confirm I throw them out from my 'I look very highly oF you' BOX.

The thing is dear, going humble and low and funny is always the way to go.

Hari ni entry agak cold, I wonder what bothers me inside?
I myself do not know.

ps/ If you are either the follower of the ruler or the opposition, don't let me know ya. Who knows your are actually in my 'I look very highly of you' BOX. I don't want to throw you out since I have been running out of human in the BOX!

we made it to the UTP website!

2008-09-16T14:51:00.000+08:00

To non-believer in complicated love theories, to my friends with confused minds, to my great love, i really like what John Legend has to say...

2008-09-11T00:58:00.005+08:00

Girl I'm in love with you,
This ain't the honeymoon,
Past the infatuation phase,
Right in the thick of love,
At times we get sick of love,
It seems like we argue everyday

I know I misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby you and I

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go

i need (want) a new phone

2008-09-09T23:24:00.005+08:00

I've been surviving with an old ancient Nokia for months now. Since my V3 refused to serve me, I kinda get used to this embarrassing moments when friends have super cool ring tone, I settled with the first ever tone invented like 'Kringggggg Kringggg!!'

So I started to have wishes like
'Kalau I ada phone I nak ring tone ni..'
'Eh lagu ni soothing lah jadi alarm..'

On the other note, lagu-lagu Anna Nalick memang sangat sesuai jadi wake up alarm tone. Akan bangun without feeling sakit hati, annoying and rasa cool je.. Hhehehe.
And I secretly have a playlist in the Ipod to be the choice for my upcoming new phone ring tone.

Ayah asked several times whether or not I want a new phone. I don't know. I am ok with this old stuff, but hey, it's kind of humiliating when you all dress up in skinnies and mustard yellow flat, you pulled out year 2003 handphone from the handbag!

Potong kan?

I don't know what kind of phone I want actually (Oh I want iPhone but I don't have the mercy to ask that from my folks). I don't actually favor Sony Ericsson, I think the keypad is too kotak-ish and most of the exterior are not appealing and boring and macam tak ada soul. But I don't know, we see about that ok.

I also look on the net for nice looking phone. Yes, I look for exterior as my first criteria, that should say something about me? I have one retro looking Sony in mind, but again, anything can happen when you have two parents to justify your choice and a pushy annoying seller behind the counter!

Again, we shall see!

she's leaving for Perth

2008-09-09T00:19:00.004+08:00

Since the bf is away for the month, I am quite free to utilize all my outing quota for myself. Plus, making myself busy will help me to overcome the fact that he is sorely missed ;(

Paranoid paranoid pun rindu jugak.

Today we went to Sarah Pahmi so-called farewell dinner. But turned out to be it was just 4 of us who actually dined-in together, Zu, Ealya, Fifa and I. While Sarah came late and we only get to spend like 15 minutes with her hugging and kissing cheeks. Btw she's leaving for Perth with the husband who recently or not so recently offered a job there.

I know I'm gonna miss Sarah, but to know she's in good hands in the land down under,this goodbye is not hard at all!

blast from the past

2008-09-08T23:41:00.005+08:00

Let me tell you something that is not so new I assume. I am someone who is afraid of my own past. Of how I used to be, how people saw me, and how they compare the old me and the new me.

That is why, when I decided to meet some old souls from MRSM days, I did some serious deep thinking.

And I did, and truly glad! Siti said I haven't changed, still noisy and silly. Ida caught me being blur on counting the change for Ansara registration (for her taking Masters in Statistics, I deserve a frustrated 'geleng kepala' from her). And Atie, well Atie laughed at me, A LOT!
Azie, being new at the art of 'gossip' was fairly good at it.

Last time we met was like 6 years ago?
And thank you, for making the 2 hard-confusing years b e a r a b l e.

reborn

2008-09-05T18:56:00.006+08:00

I'm back! My silence were due to the fact that both of the computers at home were malfunction from merci-less spyware attack.
Lesson learn, invest on a licensed virus protection. I forked good money for Kaspersky, with hopes that my future days for at least another year with tech-stuff are in good hands.

Well, that hopes do come with holes burnt in my jeans pocket.

Another killer purchase of.. er.. something I cannot share here (intimacy issue ;p )

So now that my computer is well protected and in the very shocking pink of health, I am quite a happy girl. I can do my own tv-series marathon, update iTunes, write blog, travel blogosphere, and poking more small holes through online shopping.

Happy Ramadhan everyone!

2008-09-02T00:30:00.001+08:00

It is called woman instinct because
...

only we woman know!

today i hurt my hand

2008-09-01T01:32:00.005+08:00

I am the person who tend to get bruise easily. If others suffer PMS, I suffer bruises on the legs escpecially. They look hurtful but they're actually not. If I knocked on something, I don't usually feel the pain, however the bruise will definately be there.

Sometimes they were there for no reason, meaning I didn't clumsily knocked on anything or anyone, but somehow few spots of blue purplish appeared on the leg, out of nowhere...

2 weeks back at the Impiana Hotel I woke up in the middle of the night, the (wooden) floor was very dry and slippery plus my super dry feet does not help in terms of friction at all, I slipped and my brothers who were in the same room woke up immediately due to the heavy thudding sound I made.

I got a huge 3 inches diameter of bruises on the knee and it looked so rempit-ish.

Today, when I was trying to open the gate, my palm get stucked between the metal, the instant pain rushed from my hand was unbearable due to my inability to sustained high threshold of pain. When I released my hand from the gate, there was instant bruise on edge of my palm that grew into the size of half ping pong ball and I panicked.

I'm not being a baby here, but hey, physical pain is one of my weakness from child, thats why I resort to one-person sport only. Read : swimming no hard falling, no mud, accident-free. Hehee.

But when I came home, I took an ice pack and swollen shamefully grew back to its original size. The silver lining is, mom said I deserved an MC from doing all the house chores tomorrow. Yeay!

one of the many things i hate

2008-08-28T23:22:00.007+08:00

One of the many things I hate is when I have to listen to people saying these things
'...tadi I baca blog u, cakap pasal..'

Arghhhhh.

Paling benci people talked about what I wrote. Since it's written, self explanatory I'm not comfortable talking about in verbally.

When I write, ideas flow, words came out. But when I talk, it is totally different way. Tell you now, I am more keen telling things in written form, I'm such a bad speaker, I say things I didn't mean like 'Pusing kiriii!' but what I mean was 'Pusing kanan'

However, my lack of ability to differentiate right and left may contribute to that.

Anddd this message goes to you to Mr BF!

'...I baca blog u tulis pasal anniversary tu..bla..bla..bla..'

Immediately I burst out loud 'lala!lalala!lala!!lalala!!!' so that I couldn't hear the rest of the story.

So there, one of the many things I hate.

Ok lah, sebenarnya bukan 'hate' tapi malu.

The Convocation Ceremony (Part 1)

2008-08-28T15:09:00.013+08:00

This year, the ceremony is divided into two session, one in the morning and the other in the afternoon. Total graduates are around 1200 if I'm not mistaken. Morning session would be for Civil Eng (Fatin & I), Electrical Eng (Fifa and Zaza) and Information System (Ziana and Sara). That means, IT (Zu), Mecha. Eng (the BF and Syed-Sara's new hubby) would be in the afternoon. So that may explains why the pictures are not complete with each and everyone of us.

The event itself was great! Maybe because our number is small, thus manageable. After the event, we gathered outside (where are the clicking and smiling and throwing the 'hard-hats' took place) and lucky we have roof on our heads. Kesian tengok U lain convo panas-panas cair make-up semua. Plus point, we have the city-of-angel-like (according to BF) IRC for background and it was beautiful.

*all photos courtesy of Abul, other cameras on the waaay!

The things is, my pc is heavily infected by virus, so no I could not access my disk C, where I saved all the photos. All photos sent by email only is accessible.

By the way, congratulations everyone!

ps : why do I still feel like I belong in UTP? Hmm.. myb sbb tak dapat offer lagi kot?

Movies

2008-08-28T01:05:00.007+08:00

Well I just got to know that Dicaprio next movie, Body of Lies (no poster found in the net, yet) is going to be in Malaysia in....
..wait for it...

October!!!!

Lambat lagi I know, buat at least I have something in the cinema to look forward to. It's amazing having the tingling feeling of excitement not knowing the movie's gonna be good or bad. Tak sabar.

And let see what else installed next month

September
1) The Other Boleyn Girl (Natalie Portman and Scarlet Johanson)
2) Mama Mia!
3) Romulus my father
4) Deception (Hugh Jackman, nyumm nyumm)

October
1) Tropic Thunder!!! (Lambat gilaaaaaaaaaa mati I tunggu)
2) Max Payne (Mark Whalberg dalam Four Brothers tu boleh tahan ;p )
3) Eagle Eye (siapa suka Shia LeBouf and rasa dia cute hands up!)

November
1) Quantum of Solace (my favourite Alicia Keys doing the song with White Stripes' John White)
2) Chicago 7 (Steven Spielberg's, I like all his work, including the ones bored to death)

More movies in between, that are not showing in local cinemas, I'll let you know.

*sources from wikipedia and GSC site.

this does not really concern you, may skip this if you want to

2008-08-27T22:41:00.013+08:00

Being unemployed, graduated and all, there are nothing much to do every other weekdays. But in weekends, if you want to see me, do set an appointment way ahead okayh!

On the 15th August weekend, I was away at KL, tagged along the parents who attended the Long Service Award for PETRONAS staff at Impiana KLCC. Impiana je? Dulu Mandarin Oriental, cut cost ke? My father had been serving the company for 25 years (sapa2 yang tak faham bahasa ingat PETRONAS naik-kan harga minyak memang digging your own grave kalau cakap benda-benda ni dgn orang2 mcam ayah).

On the 15 August itself was my 5th year anniversary with the BF. Yes we met exactly 5 years ago, during the same Long Service Award (20 years service that time) in Mandarin Oriental and KLCC witnessed of the overwhelmed drama and passionate love (masa tu lah!). Head over heels, impulse dates, perasaan membara, adrenaline rush semua ada. Siap dump boyfriend masa tu and ran after mr BF ni ha. Top up everyday RM30 takde hal punya. Final exam Chemistry esok, today pergi tengok movie, nasib baik tak fail and graduate sama-sama dengan orang yang tak mabuk (sangat) cinta. Nasib baaaaik dah get over the kemabukan and dapat jugak grad second class upper walaupun borderline je. Hehe.

First year was another drama on its own. Fight, scream and cry memang our very best friend. Lucky us, the drama slowed down by time. We developed and grew stronger. That is what I like the most about this particular relationship of mine. It moves forward and does not linger around old issues. Mini drama still ada, of course, but I guess we both know how to handle the situation so it wont turned the mini drama into somekind of movie.

Suddenly we stepped into the fifth year. I think we marked out all the grey areas. Having finished study the most favourite question 'Bila nak kawin' dah jadi mcm annoying. Honestly, I never believe that marriage is the ending of great love. I don't see marriage as something you do to seal the deal. I see marriage as a phase. A phase I am not yet ready to even think about.

I think I'm becoming romance-intolerant by day, helppp!

I'm doing my best in the relationship. I can bravely say I'm giving my all, despite other commitments like family, studies (hmm I never knew studies is a commitment) and own spaces. It's not like high school love, where the worst thing to worry is that why didn't he call tonight. He has his own past and I have mine. Both are not in each other past-life picture. But we have solid 5 years together and endless future ahead of us.

* edited
Ok lah, since ramai sgt comment on the word sacrifice (entah apa yang scary brutal nya!)
its compromise baby, compromise!

since everyone on planet earth is graduating, so here's a teaser, more pictures soon. (sooooon!)

2008-08-26T21:58:00.008+08:00

*photo courtesy of Abul.

qawiem

2008-08-20T21:01:00.004+08:00

Yesterday I have a very interesting conversation with my brother Qawiem. I'm aware that his name is quite rare here, just because my relationship with him is not as close as other siblings. It's okay, nothing serious. But I guess I am more the second-mother figure in his eyes so he can't afford to play puppy with me.

So, when he was telling me about this teacher who hates this teacher because of this and that. From his words I can sense he already pick sides. So I asked
'Dah dengar ke Cikgu B punya explaination'
'Nak dengar buat apa. Semuaaaa dah cakap mcmtu, Cikgu B memang mcm tu, bla bla bla..'

'You cannot pick sides if you don't listen to both sides. Kalau dalam kepala kita dah set yang Cikgu B tu memang jahat walaupun kita tak tahu apa dalam hati dia, apa sebab dia buat mcm tu, nanti kita ade mental block'
and I continue
'Apa-apa yang Cikgu B cakap kita refuse to listen. jadi ignorant. Kita nak tengok dan dengar apa yang kita nak saja. Kalau kita dengar Cikgu A cakap this, kita simpan 50% untuk Cikgu B punya cerita. Kalau kita dengar cerita A, separuh hati simpan untuk cerita B.'

'Have an open heart to everything, walaupun kita rasa benda tu radicilous sangat. Kita dengar, lepas tu buat keputusan sendiri. Lagi ok kan macamtu?'

Tak pasal-pasal Awiem dapat free lecture, after 5 hours straight Physics lesson.

Padan muka.

the day my world become brighter (part 2)

2008-08-20T16:59:00.002+08:00

I am a reluctant glass wearer (who weren't?). But being me, yang ini tak boleh itu tak boleh according to Zu and Sara, I hate it when I couldn't see what others see.

So today I made (is made the correct word?) lenses!
Yeaaaaaay!

There was a little scene between the opticians and I during placing both lenses inside the eyes, which almost resultant to a little tai-chi (bukan Tai-Chi Technique). I keep blaming my sweeping eyelashes and the opticians insist on being a little bit brave.

'Cubit dik, cubit sikit kasi keluar'
'Cubit laaaah ni'
'Itu mcm taknak cubit. Cubit kuat sikit..'

Arghhhhhhhhh!!

I need Fifa ;p

All the time at the shop I recall how Rachel Green was so afraid to put anything on her eyes, and lucky for them, I'm ain't Rachel Green.

Before I left the shop, with both lenses inside my eyes, I make a decision.
Malam ni kalau cubit taknak keluar jugak I pergi clinic.

girls, dah ambil baju dari tailor belom?

2008-08-19T21:59:00.005+08:00

3 more days to go for the GREAT Convocation ceremony. My guess is everyone picking up their piece of expensive outfits form tailor, final alter-ization, beading (that would be me ;p) finding perfect footwear, tudung, brooches, etcetra etcetra.

My pair of baju kebaya for the Convocation itself is sponsored by dear mama. We went to this small Batik shop owned by Dura's friend. They can help you to design your own batik-painting and customised accordingly. Great eh? And the price is way cheaper than those my mother bought in Arfa batik (which I rejected due to the fact it's orange and orangy is so not me). My aunty (call her Makngah shall we, bukan Merah Makngah) insisted to do some beading (she has magical hands with beads, thread and needle). I happily said 'Ok lah!'

For dinner, I finally made the white-green kebaya the girls bought form Bandung long long time ago. Tak ada budget nak beli kain baru pun, sob sob..

And I have this sweet little black satin and gold sandal of Eclipse to go with it. Upon trying out the whole outfit and marched around the house, my dear Ayah said, 'Waaah cantiknya....'

Well, Ayah, thanks for your brown eyes which I inherited it gladly from you - It compliments everything.

this is supposed to be posted on 1508, but why should i care about deadline?

2008-08-19T17:14:00.006+08:00

Yes, last week on the 15 of August marked the official date that this person one prson has been my, shopping buddy, IT consultant, quality control, financial advisory (and supporter ;p), meal buddy, LOYAL MOVIE-PARTNER, unpaid driver, favourite listener, entertainment provider, and the list goes on and on, but the things is,

he has been my boyfriend for 5 years.
(swallow that guys!)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY sir, apa lagu theme anniversary this year eh?

in my world, time moves as slow as snail

2008-08-13T13:53:00.003+08:00

It's getting boring waking up with nothing important to do. My days are filled with internet surfing picking clothes for imaginary wardrobe, vacuum-ing the dust in the house, laundry and work that needs most thinking is, looking thru Qawiem's addmath.

Do I miss maths?
No! Not in million years.

So let see how I kill the days waiting for my future come rolling at my feet (that makes me sound like a lazy bum eh?)

Laundry. I iron everything including boxers. My brothers said I'm sick, I tell them ironing clothes is therapeutic.
Call friends whining how boring life is. I cannot call bf since he's working. (I never called him during office hour, how considerate am I? )
Books. In the end of finishing Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaleed Khosaini, that is so addictive and in my humble opinion, is better than Kite Runner.
Movies. Thank You For Smoking recommended by one of my colluege, indircetly telling me that my convincing/negotiation skill is poor. And Gangs of New York, and Sex and the City almost every night.
Since I'm in the season of puasa ganti, so no eating, hence lagi lah sikit benda boleh buaaaaaat!!!
Staring at the mirror. I remember past month when I was working I have no time to look at the mirror for more than 2 mins. Now I have time to count new-visible pores, putting on the mud-mask Sara gave every day, and I notice something, my red-colored hair is becoming karaaaaat. Yelppp!

I need these to cheer me up!

To go with the cardi, of course. ;p

scarf

2008-08-12T15:08:00.004+08:00

You know how I feel about printed scarf!

You do kan?????

Now on tunggu Mr Postman datang sambil letak tangan kat dagu...

the search of perfect cardigan is over (for time being)

2008-08-10T16:12:00.011+08:00

'I'm looking for the perfect cardigan..'
'I jumpa kat Topshop ada satu, cun jugak' '
'Topshop? Fine, mesti mahal..'
'Taklah, ok je price dia'
'Ye ke? Berapa? Ada satu cardigan color orange I tengok dulu (dulu) quite pricey ok, RM150 plus. I cannot afford la...' (Baca dengan tone sedih)
'Hehe, yang I nampak tu seratus lebih la jugak..'
'Eiii mahal nyaaa. '
'Eh ok lah tu. Cardigan boleh pakai dengan macam-macam.'
'For me, baju over hundred tu mahal ok! I takkan beli lah kalau baju je lebih 100. Bla bla bla....'

Tup tup semalam I beli jugak cardigan tu.
It was just like I wanted (and more?), stick to your skin, flowy, nipis but not transparent, doesn't make me look like I have 3 layers of skin, and most importantly, very practical!
After a brief negotiation with this tiny brain of mine, and my bank account balance, after the 10% discount, I widened my eyes exclaimed 'I want!'
Tak boleh cakap apa, love at first sight.
Yes, love at first sight, you know what they say, one who has not experience it, may never understand!

Mind you I have three pieces of clothes going on my upper ok, the top inside, the cradigan itself, and my tudung. The correct match of materials sangat important (for me). So behold! Yours truly memang super dupeeeeer cerewet.

Yesterday we went for 21: The Movie, a movie based on Ben Mezrich' book, Bringing Down the House. It was okay-lah, a bit slow at the starting but the story developed well, I guess. Since he read the book I keep asking 'Lepas ni apa jadi' but of course I was being ignored. But he did said the lesson learn was (let me quote him) 'orang tamak selalu rugi'.

Btui!! btui!! (ala rindu lah call floor. haha!)

the day my childhood best friend elder brother got married

2008-08-09T20:35:00.008+08:00

*This post will be updated from time to time, hence the poor quality pictures.

Last Friday was a wonderful day indeed. Even though I usually spill out how I'm freaking scared to idea of married, but I loooooove seeing others get married, especially those very closed to my heart!

On the remarkable 08-08-08, Nadzwan, the brother of my very best friend get married. It was a simple nikkah ceremony and it was sweet. I told Natasha if I only I can have a simple nikkah like that and she complain something about her not being able to change clothes!

I hate to say this out loud, it's quite embarassing for people of my kind to say this (this is a self-proclaimed cold hearted saying) but,
Oh God I loooooveeee weddings!

Put my name in your wedding quest list ya!

Natasha and her big sister, Nadia, I still think she is one of the prettiest person I have ever met.

This is Little Miss Vain Pots at some strategic place with good lighting.

Haneysa ter-super friendly dalam gambar ni. Damn!

Natasha pesan, tu baju raya dia, so nnti bila raya nampak pakai baju sama, ignore je! Hehe.

i love my paylord

2008-08-08T03:22:00.004+08:00

When mother mentioned the mother-daughter shopping trip is to be canceled since the younger brother is having a friendly tournament with the Iranians and Qataris divers, I just cannot help shoving the disappointment look all over my face.

'Habis tournament pukul berapa Ma?' I'm making plan over a plan. how desperate am I?

'Selalunya dlm tengah hari, nant lambat sampai susah pulak carik parking'

'Boleh je kot? On Sunday tak adalah pack sangat macam Saturday.' Buat conclusion sendiri based on the desperation factor.

Mother is silent. I think she is rationalizing the fact too.

Oh god please, I really need a new style. I think my level of confidence is going into the drain with talks and complaints about my clothes, I am bored altogether.

And I need the paylord, with credit card, together with me.

when she has all the time in the world

2008-08-07T11:14:00.004+08:00

Since yesterday commenced the day I became the Lady of Leisure (should have sense it by now, hence the three posts in a day?).

Today since the mother has classes to attend, so I took over the job of chauffeuring around the boys to pool, schools, and tuition classes. Just now I had to step into the school office and met with the teacher.

While observing the wardrobe I thought
'What makes me look like a sister with a sense of style?'

Well I have high school teachers to impress, you know.
..................................................................................

By the way, when you have all the time in the world, you start to do what girls do best,
over analyzing.

I need to stop messing with my own thoughts.

Now I sound like a miserable girl, who talks about her emotional roller coaster ride everyday, don't I?

2008-08-06T20:46:00.003+08:00

Good luck and all the best to Malaysian Contingent to Beijing Olympics!

Especially to Miss Aqua Diva Siow Yi Ting!!!!

One of my favourite things

2008-08-06T03:06:00.009+08:00

Favourite songs whilst in the Komuter, Side A.

1. Sweet Talk -The Killers

2. Nice Dreams - Radiohead

3. Set the fire to the third bar - Snow Patrol

4. Fix you- The Offspring

5. Lovers in Japan - Coldplay

6. Whistle for the choir - The Fratellis

my best friend wedding

2008-08-06T02:31:00.009+08:00

One of the most awaited event in life of every girl would be her best friend wedding.
It's our very own Sara, and it was wonderful.
Let pictures do all the talking...

More pictures at respective girlfriends' friendster accounts.

shit happens

2008-08-06T02:19:00.002+08:00

Things I'm feeling right now is devastated. Yes, that would be the correct word to describe it. But I wish not to mention it in a blog, for many reasons. One being you wouldn't know who might stumble upon this page, so no harm done by keeping in the limit line to public-display-expression.

I am not a risk taker, never am and never will.

On other note, I watched Sex and the City the Movie for two straight nights and every time I saw the scene where Carrie hit Big with the bouquet of roses, and Charlotte furious face to Big, the waterworks magically commenced.

'I know you would do this to me!'

It is beyond sad, beyond furious, beyond devastated.

'I changed who I was for you' - Miranda.
'I love you, but I love me more' - Samantha

I wished I have Samantha's steel-heart, and Miranda radical logic, and Carrie passion.
But I guess I was Samantha, am now Miranda, however lost the Carrie Bradshaw passion along the way.

Last day of working

2008-08-06T00:00:00.003+08:00

Today is the last day of working, and I made a confession

'I am someone who find it hard to click, with people I barely knew.

I must say everywhere I went, alone is not a weird thing to do. But here, I made friends.
You guys made it fun and enjoyable.'

Pretty sayings and beautiful sentences are so not my thing, but for this time around...

Glad to meet them. ;p

Saturday breeze

2008-08-02T15:25:00.003+08:00

Today is Saturday and since I have to work on alternate Saturdays, so I was literally dragging my ass off the bed to bath. And put on my usual three quarter plain t-shirt, usual jeans, usual flat, usual scarf and usual comment from the colleague
'Kan aku dah cakap budak ni pakai baju sama tiap-tiap hari color je lain!'

Terasa ok.

Luckily Saturday is half-day, so sharp at one I rushed down to catch LRT, then the bus and off to Seremban. Now I am sitting comfortably in front of the pc wondering why all sudden I received so many unfamiliar comments on my posts.
Hehe.

In few minutes need to go fetch Awiem, run errands (ceh, errands?) quickly help with some housework so that tomorrow I'll have easy breezy way out for a full fat day with the BF without my mother common frowning on her head!

Highlights August

2008-08-01T23:41:00.006+08:00

Highlights!

This weekend
1) Sex and the City with the BF. Note to myself : Jangan lupa bawa specs!
2) Serious shopping. Someone at work said I bought my tops at some kind of factory since semua design sama, colour je lain.
5) Azra balik Yogja.

Next weekend
1) Nikah Natasha's Nadzwan. (Excited lebih kenape ye?)
2) Figure out how to spend sweet-first-pay Haneysa-wise.
3) BF supposed start off work, kenape I pulak yang nervous ni?
4) Reen's potluck.

Next-next and more coming August weekends
1) 5 years anniversary. *Grin*
2) Ayah Love birthday.
3) Convocation.

Call me for dates ya hommies, I'm home 24/7 after this 5th August!

rising singer in the making, NOT!

2008-08-01T21:51:00.007+08:00

Things have been strolling better in time I guess. We were adjusted to the fact of being in the Marketing Line Slavery and o boy! the adjustment took too long to come that we are quitting in 3 days time to come!

Being in marketing is not like testing the water I tell you. It's not the kind of things you do for the sake of doing it. It's about passion, it's about believing in what you sell, or faking it, and it's about making others to believe in what you yourself find hard to believe. For now let just say I crossed out marketing in my future-career line!

Remember the story I told you about singing in front of people?
Well, guess what, I (and Fifa) were chosen to represent the team for a singing contest (in front of more strangers!) 2 weeks back.
I actually sang, ok.
On stage.
With mic and rotating multicolored spotlight behind my back.
And screaming fans shouting
'Go Haney from Serembaaaaaaan!'
'Haney KTM Komuter we looove youuuu!'
and I was like 'Cheer kampung-style lagi, boleh tak?'
the biggest fan would be Zaza, of course, for screaming her lungs out like a crazy woman lost in Linkin Park concert.
There were also Yam and Farah jumping my names and for a second I almost feel like a Mariah Carey. Also Reen, Una and other contestants who never fails to make cheer me up and sing along.

However, I didn't sing the safe song I keep for emergency time like this, but I sang Barry Manilow's Can't Smile Without You with the little dignity left inside of me.

Till now, my colleague still humm 'I caaan't smiiile withouuut you...' when they bumped into me. Some said when they watched Hell Boy 2, they think about me. Sweet, even though every time I hit the high notes I pretend the mic is not working. And when I forgot lyrics I waved my hands and asked audience to sing together, like a pro.

That was by far, the longest 3 minutes 9 seconds in my life (so far) and thank God I have the coolest craziest friends along with me, helping me to rationalize my croaking voice by blaming it on the microphone.

heloo!

2008-08-01T21:43:00.003+08:00

I don't what the hell is wrong with blogspot, or my IE, or is it my pc?
The page keep closing down and it makes me REALLY mad.

I think I need my IT guru. Or my love.

Sarah Pahmi wedding photos still not being uploaded, and for the time being it's impossible since I can only view this page for merely 3 minutes (need to write quick!!!) then it's gonna close down by itself. Me and IT stuff is really-really an ill fated destiny.

More posts to come, I promise!

of Komuter Seremban-KL

2008-07-11T22:58:00.009+08:00

Being a regular Komuter rider and constant KL-Seremban traveller, I'm used to waking up very early in the morning to catch the train and be back at home at night.

Tired is a word I try to throw away from my dictionary.

There are no major worry in the morning usually. Just that I will be so pissed off if my usual spot at my usual coach is taken by someone else.

However after work I have to make peace with myself (and my nose, of course) and sustain myself from being carried away with annoying rude riders that pushed you and pushed you like their live depending on that very train ride.

Secretly I enjoyed that pushing part hence that always secure me a successful spot in the train.

Other than aromatherapy smell that I am so used at the moment, hey, there are more troubled things in the world and I'm not here to complain about smelly Bangladeshi standing next to me proudly exposing his armpits.

Today there was a beautiful, pretty woman looking very pregnant standing while holding the pole and her body swayed side to side.

Around her were comfortably seated guys, uncles, and boys with guilt-free look on their faces. How can they just stare at the lady's bump, I just don't know. Maybe they are more concerned about themselves (like complaining how hard life is after oil price went up) rather than simple 'Mam, you can have my seat, never mind I have strong pair of legs I used to play football everyday'

Of course that never happened.

I tapped the lady shoulder and offered her my seat.

If you think you can pull a guilt-free face sitting in front of very pregnant unstable standing lady, well maybe I cannot afford being friends with you. ;p

If I were to have son someday, I shall make sure he gives up his seats in public places to all ladies, regardless pregnant, age and of course, regardless the ladies are pretty, attractive or not.

2008-07-08T21:44:00.002+08:00

I decided to watch Sex and the City the Movie by illegally download it and play them on my pc.
Better than watching the less-20 mins version in the country.

That is very unlike-ly of me, since I have been waiting for the movie since early last year, but after serious consideration with the sister, we decide to enjoy Carrie and the girls like usual old times, on the bed with (normal) altic lansing speaker.

Anybody want to butt in?

Since my pc is in my room, and sitting would be on the bed, no popcorn please ya. I don't want to breed baby cockroaches between my duvet.

are you okay?

2008-07-07T22:20:00.005+08:00

Banyak nya stuff to do, banyak nya things to buy,
tapi sikitnya duit ;(

Before that, PDA alert eh.

Last Saturday the bf and I went 'dating'. Err peliknya pakai the word dating. After so long, outings seems so casual, but since we no longer near each other, just say that I hardly closed my eyes the night before we met. So high school-ish.

However on Saturday everyone at work had to wear pink, and frankly I think we all looked funny. The floor looked so amusingly pink that I almost blurted out 'you looked so bad in pink' to some people. Me and my unstoppable mouth! I have one old pink shirt that has holes at some places but I have no other choice to resort to. So I packed my shirt that he liked most and changed into that before meeting with the bf. Again, so high school-ish kan.

When I saw him, I did not let his arms off and I smiled hell lot that it might looked weird to some people (considering my hateful-relationship with the act of smiling). We watched Hancock at GSC Signature and honestly speaking, I am not very fond of the movie pun. Ok je lah.

Had KFC Nuggets for pre-lunch, Dominoes for lunch and Nandos for dinner. Makan semua benda yang teringin-teringin, bestkan ada boyfriend? ;p

The bf is still considering to either jump into automotive or oil & gas. At first I talked him into oil & gas (of course) but reminded by his passion into automotive (well that is what he talked about, most of the times, poor me kan?) I think I'll be okay with anything.

Today one of the most favourite phase at work ws
'Are you okay Haney?'
I heard that so many times that I actually asked them
'Are you seniors are obligated to ask me that?'

Annie,
are you OK
Will you tell us that you’re OK
There’s a sign at the window
That he struck you
A crescendo, Annie..

Ops, terpanjang pulak entry!

2008-07-06T16:11:00.003+08:00

This in a special entry to my boyfriend of five years.

CONGRATULATIONS on your new job!!!

See? Now everything falls into one piece perfectly.
I feel like half of myself completed already ;p.

Many loves,
Me!

a girl got to do what a girl got to do

2008-07-06T08:49:00.003+08:00

There are always first time to everything, right?
(I sound like a script, do I?)

Last Friday we had to sing in front of everyone. By we I mean the juniors at my work place. By singing I mean standing out front pulling our best voice chords.

Oh my God I never sing in front of strangers before. At first it was very hard to do.
What lingers in my mind that time was..
What song best fit so I won't embarrassed myself with one of my obvious weakness (my voice is terrible) in front of colleague I just met few days?

So I pulled out all the dignity I have in me and sing the safest song in the world
..Just like a star across the sun....
..Just like an angel of the page..
It's Corrine Bailey Rae Just Like A Star!
The safest beautiful song fits my hidden soft voice purrfectly!

Even though I sound nasal due to the mini flu (which according to bf, I always sound nasal when I sing), I actually enjoyed it.
I even swing my legs by the time the song ended.

Note to all : Always have a 'safe' song that you can sing without making yourself look like an over-do. And don't, don't ever ever sing Linkin Park even though you secretly love them so much especially when you are above the age 21.

Hello July

2008-06-30T21:22:00.003+08:00

After two miserable days with annoying headaches and runny nose, I recovered well.
Too well that I managed to pull myself out to work with the Holy Good Monday Spirit!

(I did put on heels today-that is a good sign of Good Spirit)

Work?
Hehehehe.
Ade lah tak boleh cerita sini.

The things is, I like my friends there.
People from UTP used to be very kiasu (they need to be) and very different.
A lot of times I feel suffocated and find it hard to actually click.
They are so nice that I'm afraid I might break them with my natural charm, that is, my sarcasm.

But now my friends at work are those who can make a silly kindergarten game into a hilarious one, that I laughed till my tears dropped.
Things here are so easy breezy, no annoying attitude observed till day 9 (accept mine?) and they are so open up to everything.
They don't care if you're are different, or just as same.
That I am able not to fake my laugh just to blend in.
Or make small talk just to cross the awkward bridge.
You know what I mean?

One month to go, and then we'll be off separate ways.

Tsk tsk, hand me tissue

2008-06-28T19:08:00.002+08:00

Down with fever since yesterday.
Hardly remember sore throat can be this painful.
And this slimy nose is like a garden water hose.
Help!

I have outstanding unbreakable record of not being sick for a very long time. Last time was the food poisoning that is almost 2 years ago.

Semua sebab buah mata kucing punya pasal lah nii.

Now thank our parents for thoughtful names and for making us not being the joke-point at school

2008-06-25T22:08:00.003+08:00

I am still amused how people pronounced my name very weirdly.

Somehow they managed to twist their tongue and re-arranged the alphabet into unimaginable sequence…

Ha-ney-sya is very normal. Unacceptable but normal.
I once called Hanessy by my Highway Engineering Lecturer and I granted him an angry stare.
He apologized profusely, so I let it go.
They were also Ha-nei-shia. That one is also forgiven since I was given that name during my Mandarin class.

I always have hard time to decide either to reveal my special(lah sangat) nickname when introducing my self for the first time, since I ‘malas’ to undergo all the wah and ahhh when I told them to call me Haney.

Lagi malas bila argue pulak kenapa spell H-a-n-e-y bukan H-o-n-e-y.

I don’t want to give them ideas on new nicknames such as Hanis (no NO!) or Nisa (errrrkkk!) or worst, other irrelevant name such as name of a fish or name of a car (Ferrari?) or name of a football player.

In MRSM, I was also called by the name of a fish by the guys, and they still think I have no idea they were talking about me.

P/S This point is inspired by my encounter with someone by the name Shawal Maradona. And **** (tak ingat) Ferrari.

I hope you won't get bored with more stories of Qusyairi

2008-06-14T01:05:00.006+08:00

Some pictures from SUKMA Terengganu.

On different note : Yes, I think my brother had grown up. He is as same height as I am (the measurement took place few minutes ago. )
I am devestated being the shortest in the family (mama doesn't count), but I'm learning to live with it! Hell yeaaah!

With his friends, errr, I don't know their names.

Doing what he does best besides fishing - flying kites.
Say it guys - dia memang kampung boy by nature!

Pretty familiar scenes in the family.
No need to know we used to run arond in the house with swim suits on!

This is a picture of him..err..doing his thing..

Mama took this while waving him goodbye.
And a PSP hanging - says I'm a kampung boy by nature but a geek by peer-pressure!

So once I stepped into the house I asked him what did he bought for me as souvenier.
He said he has some keropok.
I said Oh so sweet.
Then mama break the moment by saying she did all the purchasing of souveniers.
That keropok is actually for his classmates. The only things he bought is this stupid wooden-Penyu-keychain and a huge kite, both for himself.

2008-06-12T20:56:00.002+08:00

My phone is disfunctional since yesterday. Screen went black, and sometimes it vibrates for no reason.

Since the phone refused to show anything on screen, I am, in other words,
LOST EVERYONE PHONE NUMBERS since I smartly did not copy contacts to sim card.

So please everyone please.

SMS ME YOUR NUMBER SO WE DON'T LOST TRACK OF EACH OTHER OK?

V3 ancient ni macam sense je hati ni macam terdetik nak beli iPhone 3G.